Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
