Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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