I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
