Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
