cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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