she was so not down for the gang bang
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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