I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
