Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
