i think my tv is drunk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
