i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
