READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Found your dick twin last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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