Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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