we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
