OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
