She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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