then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
