the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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