I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i think i just lost a toe
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
