idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize