It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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