I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
