Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this boner is exhausting
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
