i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think my moral compass just broke
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
