I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
