I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You made out with two different species that night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
