I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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