My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
