Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
