the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize