apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
