I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
