Screwed.edu
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
