I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
