I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
