Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Randomize
