I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
