Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
