so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
