I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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