he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
