dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
