I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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