I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
