Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
