Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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