I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
