I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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