I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
