I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
