Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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