Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize