I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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