I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your cock deserves a montage
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
