its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
