so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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