Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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