i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
