made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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