Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
