I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize