i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
