went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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