therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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