we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
