i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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